Gag me!

California Senator Diane Feinstein wants to rid U.S. of guns. She'd get rid of all guns except hers, of course, because she's a liberal. And liberals believe that everyone else shouldn't have a gun. Or a bomb. An armed citizenry (or country) is incompatible with liberal rule. That's why liberals always limit others' access to arms.

Liberals don't believe rights come from God. They apparently don't believe in God. Liberals believe all rights come from government. They treat the U.S. Bill of Rights as a list of privileges -- Constitutional "amendments" that may be altered, restricted, or taken away. To a liberal, no right is "absolute", not even the right of free speech. Liberals will be the first to shout down and drown out any "disagreeable" speech, but they will defend to the death anyone's right to agree with them! No one, they'll argue, has the right to falsely yell "Fire!" in a crowded theater. People might stampede for the doors. People have been killed!

So falsely yelling "Fire!" is banned.

Liberals now claim that keeping and bearing arms, particularly in public, is unsafe. They seek to ban all guns (even pastries that look like guns). Then they cower in fear under desks (or behind body guards) when murderous criminals disregard all existing laws (duh!) and murder anyway.

Perhaps we should apply the same "solution" liberals impose to stop gun violence to the possibility of someone yelling "Fire!" in a crowded theater. For public safety's sake, we should gag everyone entering any public venue. No one should be allowed to speak -- unless they first undergo an FBI background check, get fingerprinted, pay the associated fees, pass a mental health screening test, attend and pass a "speech safety" course, pay a $200 annual "speech permit" fee, get "registered" for public speaking, restrict their vocabulary to only those words found on a "government-approved" list and, in general, get government permission before speaking out or speaking up.

These measures would undoubtedly solve the falsely yelling "Fire!" problem.

Under the proposed law, not even the possibility of speaking falsely will be permitted. All persons (except government-approved agents and their favorably connected friends) shall be fitted with gags. Anyone found not wearing their gag or otherwise using their voice for any reason (even when threatened with a real fire!) shall be punished by fine, imprisonment, or both, and have their right to speak restricted forever (voice box removed).

Of course, those who relinquish their weapons to the government may experience "Fire!" of a different sort.