Monday, December 25, 2017


The great high priest who excommunicated me from the LDS Church in 2014, blowing up my family, is now divorced, released from his calling.

I deeply sorrow for his family. (I would not wish that agony on anyone!)

How can those who so blithely impose such loss and suffering on others hope to escape the same fate?

Monday, December 18, 2017

The Lord's TRUE Guide and Standard

I was not in Boise or privy to the Conference of Christ held last summer. I did not participate with those who entered into a covenant there and then (offered by Denver Snuffer, acting as "voice"). I have been largely absent from any and all discussions regarding the same and lately I have remained ignorant of most of the proceedings pertinent to that "movement," its proposed "guide and standard," (GS) "governing principles," (GP) etc. (I have been attending to other things.)
Yet I consider myself an "active" member of that "group" commonly called "the remnant," having submitted myself for rebaptism, having my name recorded, striving to take the Holy Spirit for my Guide, keeping the Lord's commandments to the best of my ability, etc., exercising faith in Him alone who is mighty to save, relying wholeheartedly upon His grace and forgiveness.
I consider myself "in league" with Denver Snuffer, Rob Smith, Jared Livesey ("Log"), Rock WatermanTim MaloneScott Stover and many others. These are not just my friends. They are my "brethren" and extended "family." I love them and feel myself "united" with them by the bonds of charity and our mutual faith. It cannot be overstated how much I cherish their company.
If it can be tolerated and accepted, I SUPPORT the efforts of Denver Snuffer, Rob Smith, and Jared Livesey.
However, I join with Jared in saying I DO NOT AGREE regarding what others have done regarding the GS and GP. I SUPPORT what Jared has proposed to be the GS and GP for us to follow. (Jared has mostly quoted the Lord Jesus Christ Himself.) By so doing, we follow, honor and obey Jesus Christ, our Eternal God, and none other (as it should be).
I have been inspired and uplifted by the efforts and words of Denver, Rob and Jared. (They are NOT mutually exclusive.) I believe the Lord has commanded Denver to undertake this latest effort for the very purpose of trying our souls, giving us experience and seeing what we could and would do: whether we would turn to Him (the Lord) or gravitate toward any other (fool or dumb idol).
I particularly LOVE the idea put forth by Scott Stover and Jared Livesey: that we invite each participant to WRITE THEIR OWN GOVERNING PRINCIPLES, then compare them from time to time. In time, those guided by the Holy Spirit will come to agreement and adopt the same words. They will be one fold and have one Shepherd, hearing ONE voice.
I believe Rob Smith would say: "None of this is necessary. Let each man come to God himself and let the angels sort it out!" I believe the Lord has assisted Rob in fulfilling his ministry.
I believe Denver would say: "As all have not faith to come unto Christ separately, let us do it together, if we can...and here's how we might!" I believe the Lord has assisted Denver in fulfilling his ministry.
I believe Jared would say: "I believe Denver has been sent by God, but I don't think those who regard him as a prophet understand what that means. We must avoid committing the same sins and errors of the past." I believe the Lord has assisted Jared in fulfilling his ministry.
I particularly encourage ALL who affiliate with this group, "the remnant," to read Jared's blog posts of late, beginning with October, 2017, reading to the present. I believe his focus and admonitions to be inspired of the Holy Ghost and the clearest words of the Lord extant on the subject.

Monday, June 12, 2017

Sacrifice of all things

Rob Smith's book, Seek Ye This Jesus: Hearing, Seeing and Dwelling with God, continues to assault the "natural" man within me with revelation upon revelation...or "reminders" to those of us who already have been exposed to the truth, but who are now quaking in our boots at the implications thereof. 

Lessons like this: 


A full relationship with God requires the surrender of all things. This stout principle is stated plainly over and over again in scripture. Few encounter a full relationship with God, because few understand or submit fully in surrender to God.

There are three levels of surrender to God. The first is partial surrender, when you are willing to surrender a specific thing or a group of specific things. Many people in this group are honest enough to recognize that their unsurrendered things should be surrendered, but they love those things too much to let go of them. Their unwillingness to let go of these things in spite of a commandment from God to do so means that they love these things more than God, which is a violation of the first and great commandment: Love God with all your heart (see Matthew 22:38). Their withholdings are an idol to them, and as long as they hold onto these unsurrendered things, they cannot have a full relationship with God. No matter what positive experiences they have with God, they will be forever blocked from the much greater portion they were meant to experience.

Some less honest people in this group think that their unsurrendered list is acceptable to God because it is comprised only of things they think God will never expect them to surrender. Who are you to dictate what is right and what is wrong to God? If your operating assumption is that you are fallen and incapable of saving yourself, how could you ever think that you are capable of dictating what God can and can’t do? God’s humbling interchange with Job fits any who think for a moment that their wisdom exceeds God’s (see Job 38).

The Lord’s ways are higher than yours:

8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9)

When it comes to what God might ask of us, there are no limitations. Abraham probably thought God would never ask him to sacrifice a human, let alone his son, let alone the son whose life was required to fulfill promises he had received from God. And yet, he did not withhold Isaac. There are many other examples in the scriptures. Nothing is out of bounds. Even your relationship with your parents and your children* are among what he can ask you to sacrifice:

He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. (Matthew 10:37) 

If any [man] come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:26)

[Emphasis added.]


I stopped reading there. 
That last scripture contained two words -- "...and wife..." -- that wrenched my soul. 

I have always known I would have to "sacrifice" my parents. We can't live forever under their roof. We must necessarily "strike out" on our own, chart our own course, even "separate" religiously, financially, emotionally (to some extent) as we "define" ourselves, our personalities and our lives. Inevitably our parents (most likely) precede us in death, as well. We have to "let go" sooner or later.

I also knew I would have to "sacrifice" my children. Inevitably they grow up and make their own choices, taking actions that, likewise, define their own lives and personalities. Ultimately, every parent must stand at the "train station," wave "goodbye" to their children and "let go."

But I NEVER imagined I would be expected to "sacrifice" my beloved wife! Not under ANY circumstances (except by death)! Even if she pushed me away! Even if she turned from everything I hold dear! My role, my goal, my purpose in life, I understood, was to "cleave" unto her and to NONE else! I was to "save" her AT ALL COSTS and NEVER abandon her. At God's command, my faithfulness to her would need to be stronger than the cords of death!

I NEVER imagined that it would be required of me (by Him or by her) to "let go."

Abraham "sacrificed" his wife, Sarah, first to Pharaoh, then to King Abimelech. (Though Abraham surely loved her!) He likewise sent Hagar and their son, Ishmael, into the wilderness, arguably to die! Abraham withheld NOTHING from God. He even raised his knife to slay his beloved son, Isaac, at God's command.

Rob's words likewise cut to my core and struck at my heart. They revealed in me and to me a truth I've kept hidden from myself. 

I THOUGHT I had "spied out" God's own heart and had "carved out" what I "knew" and thought to be His desires for me for my ENTIRE life. I THOUGHT He had given me this woman FOREVER. (We were "sealed" in the temple!) I had NO IDEA that the very thing He had given me to love, honor and cherish forever -- the one I now valued ABOVE ALL ELSE in this world! -- had become an "idol" to me and a "stumbling block." (Hadn't she always been?) My love for her -- and for all that I received from her and because of her -- had become the focus of my life and the "treasure" of my soul.

Surely I loved her and our children with all my heart! I loved God, too!

But did I love Him MORE than these?

He would see. (Or, more accurately, I would see.)


I recognize these tests come to ALL of us who seek to be with and be like God. (Those who seek not God likewise suffer, but they do so, unknowingly, without purpose.) The Powers of Heaven "orchestrate," on our behalf, circumstances that bring us to these "crises" of our faith -- whether by death, destruction, disease, economic ruin or other hardship, trial by temptation, infidelity (either in ourselves or in others), etc. We are asked to "sacrifice." Those who give up what they "love" most because they love God EVEN MORE progress. Those who don't are damned, even in their "lovely" (and pitiful) prisons.

God, in His mercy, allows "evil spirits" to beset us, at times -- to compel us to do things we (otherwise) would not do (unless we were tempted, as we thus are, by our own lusts, if we have any) -- to bring about circumstances to teach us lessons: to humble us and to instruct us, as He did with King Nebuchadnezzar, who went "crazy," living as a beast of the field for seven years (see Daniel 4). 

We judge others for their "wickedness" in our own foolishness, not comprehending how easily we could be persuaded to embrace their same plight, attitudes or actions, were the same "lessons" administered to us by Heaven. 

We are ALL "children," "fallen" in God's eyes. The "stench" of our sins is hardly indistinguishable to Them who now know no sin. All of us have sinned and come short of the glory of God in this world. We are ALL in need of God's cleansing power and forgiveness now (that we might cleanse and forgive each other). 

Only the most impenitent and wicked among us are unfit for this world. Our common struggle is to work together now to dispel the darkness and seek to embrace the Light.

Rob continued:

"Ironically, those who put God in a box do so out of fear. They fear that if they let God out of their boxes, he would end up less loving, less merciful, or less good than they presently imagine him to be. That is ironic because it is only by removing your limitations of him that you can see just how loving, merciful, and good he really is. Trusting him provides the opportunity for him to prove his faithfulness and love. It far exceeds anything you can imagine when you box him up in false traditions. If you look at every person in the scriptures who came to know God, you will struggle to find someone who found him less godly upon getting to know him. Instead, you see the opposite. You see deep, loving, worshipful reverence increase in proportion to how well someone knows God."

If I admitted it to myself, I'd confess that I don't want to give up what I have now because I'm afraid God will not fill up my cup again! (I so languished with thirst before! I do not wish to be thirsty again!) 

But thirsty for what? The cares of this world? Or the things of heaven? I confess as I've turned my attention toward the things of this world, the things of heaven have waned by comparison and the voice of God has become harder for me to hear.

The "greedy," hungry kid who keeps his two fish, rather than toss them into the basket as a gift to God never sees his fish multiplied to feed himself or five thousand more! 

We have to trust that, by obedience to God, our every step is ordained for our benefit (and the benefit of those we love and cherish), even if that step takes us through hell.

* At this point in reading Rob's words, I still held out hope he would never mention what I loved most and would NEVER want to give up! But he did.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Black and White

I haven't verified the data below contrasting blacks and whites, reported in the comments here. But I have heard these numbers enough, in enough places, to find them trustworthy.


IQ tests measure the innate and immutable mental capability that involves abstract thinking, logical reasoning, ability to solve novel problems and comprehend complex ideas.

Intelligence is inherited and not equally distributed among the races.

IQ by race:

         •   Ashkenazi Jews = 115
         •   East Asians = 106
         •   Whites = 100
         •   Inuits and Eskimos = 91
         •   South-East Asians = 87
         •   American Indians = 87
         •   Non-White Hispanics = 86
         •   American Blacks = 85 (average 24% White admixture)
         •   Middle East and North Africans = 84
         •   African Blacks = 67 (only 2% of Whites score this low)
         •   Australian Aborigines = 62
         •   Kalahari Bushman = 54
         •   Congo Pygmies = 54

Asian IQ scores cluster around the mean; thus, the cognitive variation among Whites produces more geniuses, but also more morons.

IQ studies are normed for every conceivable variable and have been conducted on twins and trans-racial adoptions, but the racial IQ gap persists, including on non-verbal tests such Raven's Matrices, digit span, and mental chronometry.

No Black civilization has ever independently developed. No modern creations exist in sub-Saharan Africa that were not brought there by Whites. Without continuous intervention, Blacks cannot even maintain what Whites gave them. 

19 of the 20 poorest countries are sub-Saharan African.

There are no White Third-World nations, but all Black ones are.

Highest National IQs:

         •   108      Singapore 
         •   106      South Korea 
         •   105      Japan 
         •   105      China 
         •   102      Italy 
         •   101      Iceland 
         •   101      Switzerland 
         •   100      Austria 
         •   100      Netherlands 
         •   100      Norway 

Lowest National IQs:

         •   68        Somalia 
         •   67        Guinea 
         •   67        Haiti 
         •   67        Liberia 
         •   66        Gambia 
         •   64        Cameroon 
         •   64        Gabon 
         •   64        Sierra Leone 
         •   64        Mozambique 
         •   59        Equatorial Guinea

Blacks are proto-humans; modern man evolved from Blacks by hybridizing with the large-brain Neanderthals:

         •   Blacks   =   2% Archaic admixture
         •   Whites   =   4% Neanderthal
         •   Asians   =   5% Neanderthal + Denisovan

Genetic distance is a measure of the genetic divergence between populations. Blacks have a genetic distance of 0.23 from Whites and Asians, but only 0.17 from Erectus. That means Blacks are more genetically proximate to archaic man than to modern man. 

Blacks are the only race with no DNA from the large-brain Neanderthals. Civilizations didn't begin until the Neanderthal hybridization created the larger brains in modern man:

Brain Size by Race:

         •   Blacks   =   1267 cm
         •   Whites   =   1347 cm
         •   Asians   =   1364 cm

Whites' brains are faster, larger, denser, and more complex than Blacks' brains:

         •   7% larger
         •   126 grams heavier
         •   deeper fissuration in the frontal and occipital regions
         •   more complex convolutions
         •   larger frontal lobes
         •   more pyramidal neurons
         •   16% thicker supra-grandular layer
         •   one standard deviation more cerebrum
         •   react faster on mental chronometry tests
         •   600 million more neurons

Whites are only 10% of the world's population, yet are the most industrious and innovative race the world has known. Whites unlocked the secrets of DNA, and relativity, launched satellites, created automation, discovered electricity and nuclear energy, invented automobiles, aircraft, submarines, radio, television, computers, medicine, telephones, light bulbs, photography, and countless other technological miracles. Whites were the first to circumnavigate the planet by ship, and orbit it by spacecraft, to walk on the moon, probe beyond the solar system, climb the highest peaks, reach both poles, exceed the sound barrier, descend to the oceans depths... yet Blacks still can't even feed themselves. 

Whites have to provide food, medical, financial, and engineering aid to every Black nation. Blacks cannot survive without White charity. Blacks became an out-of-control invasive species after Whites domesticated them. 

No pre-contact Black society ever created a written language, or weaved cloth, or forged steel, or invented the wheel, or plow, or devised a calendar, or code of laws, or system of measurement, or math, or built a multi-story structure, or sewer, or drilled a well, or irrigated, or created any agriculture, or built a road, or sea-worthy vessel. They never domesticated animals, or exploited underground natural resources, or produced anything that could be considered a mechanical device.

Blacks were still living in the Stone Age when Whites discovered them just 400 years ago.

Blacks are the oldest race, so they should be the most advanced — but they never advanced at all. Blacks lived alone in Africa, a vast continent with temperate climates and abundant resources for 60,000 years; so they cannot blame slavery, racism, colonialism, culture, environment, or anything else for their failures. 

Simply, life is an IQ test.

In 156 American studies that have reported the IQ means of a Black and a White sample, the mean Black-White difference is 1.1 standard deviations (SDs), or about sixteen IQ points.

In 1980, the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth administered the largest and most carefully selected national sample of 6,502 Whites and 3,022 Blacks an IQ test and found a difference of 1.2 SDs.

An IQ gap of at least 1.1 SDs for American Blacks (average 24% White admixture) and Whites has been present for the entire 100+ year history of IQ tests. The gap between African Blacks and Whites is 2.0 SDs.

Black-White IQ Distribution:

                 5% above 110 IQ
                 16% above 100 IQ
                 40% above 90 IQ
                 60% above 80 IQ
                 40% below 80 IQ 
                 18% below 75 IQ
                 10% below 70 IQ

                 10% above 120 IQ
                 18% above 115 IQ
                 27% above 110 IQ
                 40% above 105 IQ
                 50% above 100 IQ
                 60% below 105 IQ 
                 35% below 95 IQ
                 15% below 85 IQ

As the New York Times put it, "...the difference in IQ points between the groups is quite significant. It means that the top sixth of Blacks score only as well on IQ tests as do the top half of Whites."

The least intelligent 10% of Whites have IQs below 80 (low functioning); 40% of Blacks do. 

Only one Black in six is more intelligent than the average White; five Whites out of six are more intelligent than the average Black.

Incidently, Black female IQ is 2.4 points higher than Black male IQ. There are twice as many Black females as Black males with IQs over 120, and five times as many Black females as Black males with IQs over 140.

About 2.3% of Whites have an IQ of at least 130 (gifted), 20 times greater than the percentage of Blacks who do; only 0.00044% of African Blacks have an IQ over 130. 80% of gifted American Blacks have White admixture.

Geniuses by Race (IQ 140 or higher):
          •   African Blacks                 1:3,500,000            (0.000003%)
          •   American Blacks             1:218,000               (0.0004%) 
          •   Whites                             1:83                        (1.2%)              

So, the per capita genius rate for Whites is 41,000 times higher than it is for African Blacks.  

If all Whites in America were replaced by Blacks, the number of geniuses in the country would fall from about 2.4 million to only about 1,000.

The so-called "achievement gap" by SAT scores:

       Year              White             Black             Gap
       1985              1038               839               199
       1990              1031               849               185
       1995              1052               857               195
       2000              1060               859               201
       2005              1061               863               197
       2010              1063               855               208
       2015              1047               846               201

This gap is so significant that colleges award Blacks 230 SAT "race bonus" points to help them qualify for admission. The Black-only National Achievement Scholarship was created because Blacks are not competitive for the National Merit Scholarship.

IQ by Race and Highest Degree Earned (1972 — 2014):

Highest Degree                      White IQ               Black IQ               Gap
High School Drop-out:                 89                         82                      7
High School Diploma                   98                         90                      8
Junior College Degree               102                         95                      7
Bachelor's Degree                      108                       100                     8
Graduate Degree                        113                       102                    11

Therefore, a Black with a graduate degree has an IQ equivalent to a White with a junior college degree.

Blacks can only achieve because they are mixed with White genes or because they reside in White societies. Too few of them are smart enough to even build sufficient infrastructure to allow the Black intellectual elite to achieve.

The American Psychological Association declares, "...large differences do exist between the average IQ scores of Blacks and Whites, and that these differences cannot be attributed to biases in test construction."

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Easter Sunday

I spent my Easter driving my (younger) children to the LDS Church and dropping them off at the curb because (like a non-Mormon visiting the temple), I'm not allowed by the LDS Church to step foot on LDS property ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD. There my children joined their mother and older siblings (without me). I made the 14-mile round trip, then received word from them that my oldest son refused to go inside because he didn't have the right SOCKS.

That's right. Jesus hung on the cross STARK NAKED and walked out of the tomb BAREFOOT on Easter morn. But my son didn't have the right SOCKS so he wouldn't go to church. (He likes to wear NIKE socks.) His mother asked me to bring him A PAIR OF SOCKS. Would I make the 14-mile drive again?

I found only ONE Nike sock at home. So I left it there and drove to church with ANOTHER pair (one of my own, which I no longer wear since I don't don the church's "uniform" anymore).

When I got to church, I found my son RIDING HIS BIKE, jumping the curbs of the church parking lot, wearing shorts and a ratty, "casual" shirt (like he was visiting a skate park!) -- not the "Easter Sunday" clothes I expected him to be wearing. "I don't like to go to church," he said. He REJECTED the socks I offered him. (Admittedly, they were "dress" socks. He was wearing one black "Nike" sock on one foot and NO SOCK on the other! This was "acceptable" to him!)

I drove all the way home AGAIN -- rather than attend church (as I wanted to) with my family.

"Church" had been turned into a "fashion show". A "wrestle" over socks, rather than worship of God.

I took the sacrament at home alone -- and choked on the words "WE ask thee...." (Who are "we"?) " the SOULS of all those...." (I'm the only "soul" here!) "...that THEY may eat...." (Who's "they"?) "...that THEY are willing to take upon themselves...." (I'm all alone here!)

Clearly the sacrament was MEANT to be taken in company with others.

I am aware of a "friend" who lives EVERY DAY alone. He dwells in filth. His house is a cesspool. His hygiene (or lack thereof) is so vile that NO ONE wants to get within 20 feet of him. (He stinks!)

Do I treat him like this? Yes, I do. I "banish" him from my life. I do not succor him -- as these "Mormons" banish and do not succor me. My "judgment" is just. It is being done unto me even as I am doing unto him. The only way I can rid myself of my stain is do unto him as I would have done unto me!

I don't WANT to be his friend! He is filthy, feces covered, and vile in every way!

But so am I, apparently (to some).

The jungle gym

A boy at school injured himself while climbing on a massive jungle gym installed decades earlier. He had thought to stand at the very top: a place so precarious and frightening that hardly anyone dared make the attempt. But the boy regarded it as a worthy effort, even an adventure!

While climbing, he gashed his leg on a broken feature sticking out of the equipment, a deficiency few had discovered and no one else could see looking from the bottom. (None of those who ran the school dared climb the jungle gym themselves.) Writhing in pain and becoming distracted, the boy lost his grip and fell all the way to the bottom.

On his own, he made his way to the school nurse and explained to her what had happened. She insisted, however, that it WASN'T the jungle gym's fault! "You shouldn't have been climbing there! It was YOU who slipped! The jungle gym isn't broken! It's YOU!"

She had never seen such an injury before. Swooning at the sight of so much blood, she foolishly suggested that a tourniquet and amputation were the only acceptable remedies. The boy vehemently protested. He said the gash was deep, but in no wise irreparable. The injury would heal with proper treatment. The boy, not wishing to see others suffer his fate, endeavored to warn them about the broken jungle gym.

But his pleas were ignored by those who could see nothing wrong from where they stood. The fault was the boy's.

The nurse told the principal what the boy had said. The principal expelled the boy for his "misconduct" and banished him from the school grounds (so he couldn't tell others what had happened to him).

The boy received no treatment for his injuries from the school nurse or the school, but was left to heal on his own. The pain and suffering he experienced were intense! He not only suffered his injury, but "lost" nearly ALL of his schoolyard friends! Plus he could no longer play on the playground equipment he so much enjoyed. Not to mention the rigor and discipline of attending school with others.

He was on his own now.

But the jungle gym was still broken.

Friday, March 24, 2017

Schools are NOT "safe sex" zones

Robert Keith Bryan, a local public school teacher, clearly took advantage of his students. He was convicted of improperly touching young girls and was sentenced to nine years in prison.

I cannot imagine any teacher justifying touching any student under their clothing, as Bryan did. (Apparently, neither could the jury!) He was, perhaps, in denial about his sexual predilections. (Maybe he still is.) He "got his jollies off", apparently, touching young girls in seemingly "casual" ways. He thought he could get away with it. (And he did! For a long time!) But he was only kidding himself. His lust was transparent to others. (Touching a student on her chest, under her shirt, is a clear give-away!)

Whatever psycho-sexual stage of development Bryan "missed" or became "fixated" on, I hope he transcends it. He needs help. I wonder if he'll get that help in prison. (I've heard prison inmates dish out horrible abuse to pedophiles. Will that "help" Bryan?)

What's even more difficult to imagine is how anyone "deserves" to be compensated $650,000 of public money for merely being touched in passing, even inappropriately (on the thigh or chest, for example). 

I, personally, would let almost anyone, anywhere, for any reason, at any time, touch me on my chest -- or almost anywhere else! -- for a few seconds, for $650,000! Call me a pervert or a prostitute, but, truth be told, I'd probably let them do it for a lot longer for a lot less! (And so would you!)

Don't get me wrong. What Bryan did was very disordered. The impulses that inspire pedophiles are unnatural, even unimaginable, to "normal" people. But I've had several doctors touch me in unmentionable places, many times since my youth -- putting their hands and fingers in places where the sun don't shine -- and not one of them ever paid me for the privilege! Certainly not over half a million dollars! (In fact, as uncomfortable as it usually was for me, I've always had to pay them!)

Bryan's punishment (and rehabilitation) would be much better served at the "working" end of a baseball bat. Only unrelenting, intense, overwhelming, vomit-inducing fear and pain can effectively "reorient" any child molester. (Or any other molester, for that matter.) The punishment needs to be so severe and so devastating that no molester would ever consider repeating the abuse! Without experiencing such gut-wrenching anguish, Bryan frankly has no reason to repent. He may still be entertained (even in his own mind!) by his inordinate affections.

In other words, Mr. Bryan needs to have the living shit beaten out of him. 

For his own good.

(The "old" ways are preferable to the "new"...and they are certainly less expensive, more efficient and effective!)

The "void" created by overwhelming pain "driving out" inordinate lusts and affections from a pedophile's (or any addict's) heart and mind needs to be filled with overwhelming love for something else for the "transformation" to be permanent. That love serves as the new "addiction" (or healthy "outlet" for the addict's energies and preoccupations). Having "cleaned house" of "demons", as it were, the "landlord" must "refurnish" with something else, something better, before vagrants, vagabonds, and squatters bring their own junk and take over, "occupying" the space.

Corporal punishment (or being beaten to within an inch of your life) is not the only way to experience sufficient anguish to fully repent. One who comes into the presence of God (or His holiness) perceives his own unworthiness and utter impending destruction and likewise experiences the self-same, heart-rending, body-piercing, mind-altering pain and anguish that potentially induces a full and complete recovery. In fact, this kind of repentance is preferable to the former, as it comes from within, voluntarily, rather than from without, involuntarily, and the holy Being inducing such sentiments is, Himself, the embodiment of perfect love. The perfect "light" to fill any void of darkness.

(That has been my experience with repentance, at least.)

Because actual pedophiles (like Bryan) are too expensive and destructive to society and school districts to tolerate, people are "on the lookout" for them and non-pedophiles (who likewise work with children) are now being prosecuted, persecuted and falsely accused. 

The witch hunt for pedophiles at Coachella Valley Unified, Desert Sands Unified and other school districts is so intense and pervasive that otherwise innocuous teacher comments like "You must be hot!" and "You behaved. It was a good day!" are characterized as "sexual harassment" and inordinate "flirtation"!

Awful children have learned from experience that accusing teachers of sexual misconduct allows them to get away with (and get) almost anything. (Administrators have learned this, too.)

Simply touching a sleeping (or talkative) student on the shoulder -- to tacitly say "Wake up!" or "I see what you're doing, get back to work!" -- is now labeled as "sexual assault" (if the student is failing and wants to get a passing grade).

A male teacher -- sitting alone at his desk, rubbing his face, trying to remember if he shaved or not that morning while his students take a test -- is described as "leering" at students and "stroking himself in a sensual and most improper manner" -- especially if he reacts to a female student cheating! 

Complimenting a cheerleader who asks "How do I look?" by saying "I like your new uniform" risks further allegations of impropriety from unwitting (and paranoid) parents.

I've experienced all of this as a teacher.

The school yard is a not a "safe" or "innocent" playground, but a minefield of impropriety. (I say this to the uninitiated.) 

At one high school I taught at in this valley, I saw scantily-clad females "pole dancing" -- literally in cages! -- for a school assembly. (Who advised these students? That person should be fired!) I walked out of that assembly in disgust. I saw black students simulating intercourse while dancing to music in the school courtyard at lunch time. When an offended Hispanic cafeteria worker complained to the principal, saying "Mr. _____, they're f***ing!", the principal pointed toward the cafeteria and told her "Get back to work!" (He said nothing to the students.) When a group of boys gathered around a cell phone, I stood on a concrete bench nearby to see what they were looking at. (They were looking at pornography.) I called a security guard to intervene, but he commanded me to get down from my perch and did nothing to stop the students. After I complained to the principal, I was fired.

At a middle school where I taught, colleagues discovered 8th graders having sex in a bathroom. I personally heard an adult performer, a "rapper", at that school tell an auditorium full of middle schoolers "Put my cock in your mouth," several times. (He said it was part of his "act".) I complained, but the administration did nothing. The school dances were nothing short of simulated orgies, replete with vulgar, pornographic music and simulated (if not actual) sex acts performed on the dance floor. Chaperones were encouraged to "look the other way". (Students don't like being interrupted, interfered with or observed while they're "doing it" and they complain if teachers stop them, getting the teachers in trouble!) When I complained about this sexual abuse of (and by) minors, I was threatened with violating their "civil rights" and was, again, removed from my job!

Many schools today are run by the ULTIMATE child molesters. These "administrators" and "counselors" teach our kids it's "okay" to fornicate, giving them free condoms and even access to abortions, if the children want them (without telling their parents). Heaven help the poor teacher who accidentally touches a student on the butt! But administrators enable the actual rape of children and the abortion (murder!) of grandchildren without any consequence!

Teachers like Bryan go to prison for years for touching children while millions are doled out in compensation for much less than what "administrators" routinely approve of and "administer".

Such is our sick and twisted world.

I sympathize for those victimized by Bryan. But I am not so naive as to believe that he is the only "perpetrator", or even the worst. 

Sexual conduct (and misconduct) is rife in our society -- at home, in church, at school and on the playground. There is groping and fondling and even intercourse happening everywhere, among adults and students alike. 

A woman I dated (before I married) told me how she "seduced" her married high school history teacher (in Utah!) -- having sex with him on the floor by his desk -- while his twin brother taught seminary across the street!

I had one principal threaten me with sexual harassment if I ever opposed his policies. A colleague walked in on that principal and found his secretary straddling his lap! (Both were married to others.) Another colleague -- a vice principal, later promoted to principal -- engaged in numerous affairs, despite having a wife and children of his own. These are the people running our schools!

Not all students are "innocent" either.

I had a former student "flash" me at my desk -- in a room full of students! -- under the guise of "informing" me that she was "cutting" herself, leaving nothing to the imagination. I had a student say to me in front of an entire class: "Mr. Carter, are those keys in your pocket...or are you just happy to see me?" (That happened 22 years ago, during my first year of teaching -- in Utah by the way -- among mostly Mormon 8th graders!) When I thought I had wisely replied "Those are my keys," the student unexpectedly responded: "Mr. Carter, I want to hold your keys!" (That became a running "joke" they "played" on me throughout the year. I didn't have the maturity or sophistication as a new teacher to put a crushing "stop" to it.)

I've seen and heard students do far, far worse than that. Not every student is sexually abused or as adventurous as some, nor is every teacher a lecher or morally compromised. But who among us would not be "rattled" by a student popping up on social media, asking for help with homework, only to have that disappear (off camera), then reappear stark naked, saying "I want you to f*** me"?

How would you handle such an event (without blowing up everyone's lives)? 

I'm reminded that even righteous Joseph, who appropriately responded when propositioned by Potiphar's wife, was still thrown into prison.

Some "traps" just can't be avoided. 

There are laws against such things. But sometimes "addicts" are "made", "injected" with "heroin" against their will. These have to fight their way back to "sobriety" at great cost.

I'd be a millionaire if I collected on every "debt" owed to me by those who have abused me. 

But I'd be a pauper again if I had to "pay" every debt I owed.


UPDATE (Sunday, March 26, 2017): This is unrelated, and yet has everything to do with what I wrote above. 

I went to a bar and restaurant last night with a friend. I didn't dance, eat, drink or even talk with any of the other patrons. I simply observed, then left. There were several "beautiful" people there. I wasn't interested in any of them or in anything I saw going on there. 


Because my cup was already "full". I have a wife and wonderful children of my own at home. My wife can be lots of fun! (We've done our share of dancing and other stuff.) But there's something noble and virtuous about womanhood and motherhood that is completely disassociated from the kind hedonism and "partying" I saw on display last night. I couldn't even imagine sharing that experience with anyone but my wife. 

Not everyone is so fortunate. The world is filled with "starving", desperate, lonely people. Even "attractive" people, "rich" people, "smart" people, "successful" people feel the aches and pains of loneliness, deprivation and "unlove" that come to all of us at some point (maybe many points) during our lives.

My "cup" was "full" last night, even though I was alone. I came to see what "life" was like "out there" for my friend and for others. I came away feeling very grateful for what I have. (Even if what I have is much, much less than what I used to have!) 

I won't call what I saw last night "vacuous". There's a time and place for each of us to "celebrate", to let our hair down (those of us who still have hair!), kick up our heels and just be a little "crazy"! (It's very therapeutic, in fact!) A life "punctuated" by such moments benefits from the occasional "exclamation mark". 

But an endless stream of such marks (!!!!!!!!!!!) lacks all understanding. 

I have a wife I love and children I adore. They mean EVERYTHING to me. My joys and sorrows, labors and pleasures, wrecks and rebuildings are made sweeter, even endurable, by knowing she and they are there for me and with me. I don't know what I would do without them. 

Actually, I do know. I've lived a "lifetime" already without them. And during that lifetime, I missed them terribly. Like many of those on the dance floor I saw last night, I yearned to have my "cup" filled to overflowing with love and passion and excitement (like I have now) only to find it "empty". 

The kind of love I seek and yearn to appreciate in its entirety can't be found in a bar, a restaurant or a dance hall. It transcends time. The woman I want to be with isn't "just" someone who can wiggle and gyrate to flashing lights or pulsating sounds. She's not "just" a ravishable beauty. She's a mother, a saint, a caregiver, a lover, a friend and confidant, a soulmate and companion through thick and thin. Frankly, she is the "other half" of that dynamic duo of servants known as "king and queen" to a endless progeny of souls seeking holiness and immortality in Christ.

You won't find that in a nightclub, I imagine. (At least, I never have.)