I cannot imagine any teacher justifying touching any student under their clothing, as Bryan did. (Apparently, neither could the jury!) He was, perhaps, in denial about his sexual predilections. (Maybe he still is.) He "got his jollies off", apparently, touching young girls in seemingly "casual" ways. He thought he could get away with it. (And he did! For a long time!) But he was only kidding himself. His lust was transparent to others. (Touching a student on her chest, under her shirt, is a clear give-away!)
Whatever psycho-sexual stage of development Bryan "missed" or became "fixated" on, I hope he transcends it. He needs help. I wonder if he'll get that help in prison. (I've heard prison inmates dish out horrible abuse to pedophiles. Will that "help" Bryan?)
What's even more difficult to imagine is how anyone "deserves" to be compensated $650,000 of public money for merely being touched in passing, even inappropriately (on the thigh or chest, for example).
I, personally, would let almost anyone, anywhere, for any reason, at any time, touch me on my chest -- or almost anywhere else! -- for a few seconds, for $650,000! Call me a pervert or a prostitute, but, truth be told, I'd probably let them do it for a lot longer for a lot less! (And so would you!)
The witch hunt for pedophiles at Coachella Valley Unified, Desert Sands Unified and other school districts is so intense and pervasive that otherwise innocuous teacher comments like "You must be hot!" and "You behaved. It was a good day!" are characterized as "sexual harassment" and inordinate "flirtation"!
Awful children have learned from experience that accusing teachers of sexual misconduct allows them to get away with (and get) almost anything. (Administrators have learned this, too.)
Simply touching a sleeping (or talkative) student on the shoulder -- to tacitly say "Wake up!" or "I see what you're doing, get back to work!" -- is now labeled as "sexual assault" (if the student is failing and wants to get a passing grade).
A male teacher -- sitting alone at his desk, rubbing his face, trying to remember if he shaved or not that morning while his students take a test -- is described as "leering" at students and "stroking himself in a sensual and most improper manner" -- especially if he reacts to a female student cheating!
The school yard is a not a "safe" or "innocent" playground, but a minefield of impropriety. (I say this to the uninitiated.)
I sympathize for those victimized by Bryan. But I am not so naive as to believe that he is the only "perpetrator", or even the worst.
***
What's even more difficult to imagine is how anyone "deserves" to be compensated $650,000 of public money for merely being touched in passing, even inappropriately (on the thigh or chest, for example).
I, personally, would let almost anyone, anywhere, for any reason, at any time, touch me on my chest -- or almost anywhere else! -- for a few seconds, for $650,000! Call me a pervert or a prostitute, but, truth be told, I'd probably let them do it for a lot longer for a lot less! (And so would you!)
Don't get me wrong. What Bryan did was very disordered. The impulses that inspire pedophiles are unnatural, even unimaginable, to "normal" people. But I've had several doctors touch me in unmentionable places, many times since my youth -- putting their hands and fingers in places where the sun don't shine -- and not one of them ever paid me for the privilege! Certainly not over half a million dollars! (In fact, as uncomfortable as it usually was for me, I've always had to pay them!)
Bryan's punishment (and rehabilitation) would be much better served at the "working" end of a baseball bat. Only unrelenting, intense, overwhelming, vomit-inducing fear and pain can effectively "reorient" any child molester. (Or any other molester, for that matter.) The punishment needs to be so severe and so devastating that no molester would ever consider repeating the abuse! Without experiencing such gut-wrenching anguish, Bryan frankly has no reason to repent. He may still be entertained (even in his own mind!) by his inordinate affections.
In other words, Mr. Bryan needs to have the living shit beaten out of him.
Bryan's punishment (and rehabilitation) would be much better served at the "working" end of a baseball bat. Only unrelenting, intense, overwhelming, vomit-inducing fear and pain can effectively "reorient" any child molester. (Or any other molester, for that matter.) The punishment needs to be so severe and so devastating that no molester would ever consider repeating the abuse! Without experiencing such gut-wrenching anguish, Bryan frankly has no reason to repent. He may still be entertained (even in his own mind!) by his inordinate affections.
In other words, Mr. Bryan needs to have the living shit beaten out of him.
For his own good.
(The "old" ways are preferable to the "new"...and they are certainly less expensive, more efficient and effective!)
The "void" created by overwhelming pain "driving out" inordinate lusts and affections from a pedophile's (or any addict's) heart and mind needs to be filled with overwhelming love for something else for the "transformation" to be permanent. That love serves as the new "addiction" (or healthy "outlet" for the addict's energies and preoccupations). Having "cleaned house" of "demons", as it were, the "landlord" must "refurnish" with something else, something better, before vagrants, vagabonds, and squatters bring their own junk and take over, "occupying" the space.
Corporal punishment (or being beaten to within an inch of your life) is not the only way to experience sufficient anguish to fully repent. One who comes into the presence of God (or His holiness) perceives his own unworthiness and utter impending destruction and likewise experiences the self-same, heart-rending, body-piercing, mind-altering pain and anguish that potentially induces a full and complete recovery. In fact, this kind of repentance is preferable to the former, as it comes from within, voluntarily, rather than from without, involuntarily, and the holy Being inducing such sentiments is, Himself, the embodiment of perfect love. The perfect "light" to fill any void of darkness.
(The "old" ways are preferable to the "new"...and they are certainly less expensive, more efficient and effective!)
The "void" created by overwhelming pain "driving out" inordinate lusts and affections from a pedophile's (or any addict's) heart and mind needs to be filled with overwhelming love for something else for the "transformation" to be permanent. That love serves as the new "addiction" (or healthy "outlet" for the addict's energies and preoccupations). Having "cleaned house" of "demons", as it were, the "landlord" must "refurnish" with something else, something better, before vagrants, vagabonds, and squatters bring their own junk and take over, "occupying" the space.
Corporal punishment (or being beaten to within an inch of your life) is not the only way to experience sufficient anguish to fully repent. One who comes into the presence of God (or His holiness) perceives his own unworthiness and utter impending destruction and likewise experiences the self-same, heart-rending, body-piercing, mind-altering pain and anguish that potentially induces a full and complete recovery. In fact, this kind of repentance is preferable to the former, as it comes from within, voluntarily, rather than from without, involuntarily, and the holy Being inducing such sentiments is, Himself, the embodiment of perfect love. The perfect "light" to fill any void of darkness.
(That has been my experience with repentance, at least.)
Because actual pedophiles (like Bryan) are too expensive and destructive to society and school districts to tolerate, people are "on the lookout" for them and non-pedophiles (who likewise work with children) are now being prosecuted, persecuted and falsely accused.
Because actual pedophiles (like Bryan) are too expensive and destructive to society and school districts to tolerate, people are "on the lookout" for them and non-pedophiles (who likewise work with children) are now being prosecuted, persecuted and falsely accused.
The witch hunt for pedophiles at Coachella Valley Unified, Desert Sands Unified and other school districts is so intense and pervasive that otherwise innocuous teacher comments like "You must be hot!" and "You behaved. It was a good day!" are characterized as "sexual harassment" and inordinate "flirtation"!
Awful children have learned from experience that accusing teachers of sexual misconduct allows them to get away with (and get) almost anything. (Administrators have learned this, too.)
Simply touching a sleeping (or talkative) student on the shoulder -- to tacitly say "Wake up!" or "I see what you're doing, get back to work!" -- is now labeled as "sexual assault" (if the student is failing and wants to get a passing grade).
A male teacher -- sitting alone at his desk, rubbing his face, trying to remember if he shaved or not that morning while his students take a test -- is described as "leering" at students and "stroking himself in a sensual and most improper manner" -- especially if he reacts to a female student cheating!
Complimenting a cheerleader who asks "How do I look?" by saying "I like your new uniform" risks further allegations of impropriety from unwitting (and paranoid) parents.
I've experienced all of this as a teacher.
I've experienced all of this as a teacher.
The school yard is a not a "safe" or "innocent" playground, but a minefield of impropriety. (I say this to the uninitiated.)
At one high school I taught at in this valley, I saw scantily-clad females "pole dancing" -- literally in cages! -- for a school assembly. (Who advised these students? That person should be fired!) I walked out of that assembly in disgust. I saw black students simulating intercourse while dancing to music in the school courtyard at lunch time. When an offended Hispanic cafeteria worker complained to the principal, saying "Mr. _____, they're f***ing!", the principal pointed toward the cafeteria and told her "Get back to work!" (He said nothing to the students.) When a group of boys gathered around a cell phone, I stood on a concrete bench nearby to see what they were looking at. (They were looking at pornography.) I called a security guard to intervene, but he commanded me to get down from my perch and did nothing to stop the students. After I complained to the principal, I was fired.
At a middle school where I taught, colleagues discovered 8th graders having sex in a bathroom. I personally heard an adult performer, a "rapper", at that school tell an auditorium full of middle schoolers "Put my cock in your mouth," several times. (He said it was part of his "act".) I complained, but the administration did nothing. The school dances were nothing short of simulated orgies, replete with vulgar, pornographic music and simulated (if not actual) sex acts performed on the dance floor. Chaperones were encouraged to "look the other way". (Students don't like being interrupted, interfered with or observed while they're "doing it" and they complain if teachers stop them, getting the teachers in trouble!) When I complained about this sexual abuse of (and by) minors, I was threatened with violating their "civil rights" and was, again, removed from my job!
At a middle school where I taught, colleagues discovered 8th graders having sex in a bathroom. I personally heard an adult performer, a "rapper", at that school tell an auditorium full of middle schoolers "Put my cock in your mouth," several times. (He said it was part of his "act".) I complained, but the administration did nothing. The school dances were nothing short of simulated orgies, replete with vulgar, pornographic music and simulated (if not actual) sex acts performed on the dance floor. Chaperones were encouraged to "look the other way". (Students don't like being interrupted, interfered with or observed while they're "doing it" and they complain if teachers stop them, getting the teachers in trouble!) When I complained about this sexual abuse of (and by) minors, I was threatened with violating their "civil rights" and was, again, removed from my job!
Many schools today are run by the ULTIMATE child molesters. These "administrators" and "counselors" teach our kids it's "okay" to fornicate, giving them free condoms and even access to abortions, if the children want them (without telling their parents). Heaven help the poor teacher who accidentally touches a student on the butt! But administrators enable the actual rape of children and the abortion (murder!) of grandchildren without any consequence!
Teachers like Bryan go to prison for years for touching children while millions are doled out in compensation for much less than what "administrators" routinely approve of and "administer".
Such is our sick and twisted world.
I sympathize for those victimized by Bryan. But I am not so naive as to believe that he is the only "perpetrator", or even the worst.
Sexual conduct (and misconduct) is rife in our society -- at home, in church, at school and on the playground. There is groping and fondling and even intercourse happening everywhere, among adults and students alike.
A woman I dated (before I married) told me how she "seduced" her married high school history teacher (in Utah!) -- having sex with him on the floor by his desk -- while his twin brother taught seminary across the street!
I had one principal threaten me with sexual harassment if I ever opposed his policies. A colleague walked in on that principal and found his secretary straddling his lap! (Both were married to others.) Another colleague -- a vice principal, later promoted to principal -- engaged in numerous affairs, despite having a wife and children of his own. These are the people running our schools!
Not all students are "innocent" either.
I had a former student "flash" me at my desk -- in a room full of students! -- under the guise of "informing" me that she was "cutting" herself, leaving nothing to the imagination. I had a student say to me in front of an entire class: "Mr. Carter, are those keys in your pocket...or are you just happy to see me?" (That happened 22 years ago, during my first year of teaching -- in Utah by the way -- among mostly Mormon 8th graders!) When I thought I had wisely replied "Those are my keys," the student unexpectedly responded: "Mr. Carter, I want to hold your keys!" (That became a running "joke" they "played" on me throughout the year. I didn't have the maturity or sophistication as a new teacher to put a crushing "stop" to it.)
I've seen and heard students do far, far worse than that. Not every student is sexually abused or as adventurous as some, nor is every teacher a lecher or morally compromised. But who among us would not be "rattled" by a student popping up on social media, asking for help with homework, only to have that disappear (off camera), then reappear stark naked, saying "I want you to f*** me"?
How would you handle such an event (without blowing up everyone's lives)?
I'm reminded that even righteous Joseph, who appropriately responded when propositioned by Potiphar's wife, was still thrown into prison.
I'm reminded that even righteous Joseph, who appropriately responded when propositioned by Potiphar's wife, was still thrown into prison.
Some "traps" just can't be avoided.
There are laws against such things. But sometimes "addicts" are "made", "injected" with "heroin" against their will. These have to fight their way back to "sobriety" at great cost.
I'd be a millionaire if I collected on every "debt" owed to me by those who have abused me.
But I'd be a pauper again if I had to "pay" every debt I owed.
***
UPDATE (Sunday, March 26, 2017): This is unrelated, and yet has everything to do with what I wrote above.
I went to a bar and restaurant last night with a friend. I didn't dance, eat, drink or even talk with any of the other patrons. I simply observed, then left. There were several "beautiful" people there. I wasn't interested in any of them or in anything I saw going on there.
Why?
Because my cup was already "full". I have a wife and wonderful children of my own at home. My wife can be lots of fun! (We've done our share of dancing and other stuff.) But there's something noble and virtuous about womanhood and motherhood that is completely disassociated from the kind hedonism and "partying" I saw on display last night. I couldn't even imagine sharing that experience with anyone but my wife.
Not everyone is so fortunate. The world is filled with "starving", desperate, lonely people. Even "attractive" people, "rich" people, "smart" people, "successful" people feel the aches and pains of loneliness, deprivation and "unlove" that come to all of us at some point (maybe many points) during our lives.
My "cup" was "full" last night, even though I was alone. I came to see what "life" was like "out there" for my friend and for others. I came away feeling very grateful for what I have. (Even if what I have is much, much less than what I used to have!)
I won't call what I saw last night "vacuous". There's a time and place for each of us to "celebrate", to let our hair down (those of us who still have hair!), kick up our heels and just be a little "crazy"! (It's very therapeutic, in fact!) A life "punctuated" by such moments benefits from the occasional "exclamation mark".
But an endless stream of such marks (!!!!!!!!!!!) lacks all understanding.
I have a wife I love and children I adore. They mean EVERYTHING to me. My joys and sorrows, labors and pleasures, wrecks and rebuildings are made sweeter, even endurable, by knowing she and they are there for me and with me. I don't know what I would do without them.
Actually, I do know. I've lived a "lifetime" already without them. And during that lifetime, I missed them terribly. Like many of those on the dance floor I saw last night, I yearned to have my "cup" filled to overflowing with love and passion and excitement (like I have now) only to find it "empty".
The kind of love I seek and yearn to appreciate in its entirety can't be found in a bar, a restaurant or a dance hall. It transcends time. The woman I want to be with isn't "just" someone who can wiggle and gyrate to flashing lights or pulsating sounds. She's not "just" a ravishable beauty. She's a mother, a saint, a caregiver, a lover, a friend and confidant, a soulmate and companion through thick and thin. Frankly, she is the "other half" of that dynamic duo of servants known as "king and queen" to a endless progeny of souls seeking holiness and immortality in Christ.
You won't find that in a nightclub, I imagine. (At least, I never have.)
I went to a bar and restaurant last night with a friend. I didn't dance, eat, drink or even talk with any of the other patrons. I simply observed, then left. There were several "beautiful" people there. I wasn't interested in any of them or in anything I saw going on there.
Why?
Because my cup was already "full". I have a wife and wonderful children of my own at home. My wife can be lots of fun! (We've done our share of dancing and other stuff.) But there's something noble and virtuous about womanhood and motherhood that is completely disassociated from the kind hedonism and "partying" I saw on display last night. I couldn't even imagine sharing that experience with anyone but my wife.
Not everyone is so fortunate. The world is filled with "starving", desperate, lonely people. Even "attractive" people, "rich" people, "smart" people, "successful" people feel the aches and pains of loneliness, deprivation and "unlove" that come to all of us at some point (maybe many points) during our lives.
My "cup" was "full" last night, even though I was alone. I came to see what "life" was like "out there" for my friend and for others. I came away feeling very grateful for what I have. (Even if what I have is much, much less than what I used to have!)
I won't call what I saw last night "vacuous". There's a time and place for each of us to "celebrate", to let our hair down (those of us who still have hair!), kick up our heels and just be a little "crazy"! (It's very therapeutic, in fact!) A life "punctuated" by such moments benefits from the occasional "exclamation mark".
But an endless stream of such marks (!!!!!!!!!!!) lacks all understanding.
I have a wife I love and children I adore. They mean EVERYTHING to me. My joys and sorrows, labors and pleasures, wrecks and rebuildings are made sweeter, even endurable, by knowing she and they are there for me and with me. I don't know what I would do without them.
Actually, I do know. I've lived a "lifetime" already without them. And during that lifetime, I missed them terribly. Like many of those on the dance floor I saw last night, I yearned to have my "cup" filled to overflowing with love and passion and excitement (like I have now) only to find it "empty".
The kind of love I seek and yearn to appreciate in its entirety can't be found in a bar, a restaurant or a dance hall. It transcends time. The woman I want to be with isn't "just" someone who can wiggle and gyrate to flashing lights or pulsating sounds. She's not "just" a ravishable beauty. She's a mother, a saint, a caregiver, a lover, a friend and confidant, a soulmate and companion through thick and thin. Frankly, she is the "other half" of that dynamic duo of servants known as "king and queen" to a endless progeny of souls seeking holiness and immortality in Christ.
You won't find that in a nightclub, I imagine. (At least, I never have.)
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