Well, I traced the "change" to May, 2013. That's when I started reading Denver Snuffer's blog. I happened to have a lot of "free time" on my hands back then, so I could "invest" in reading several thousand pages of his posts (from the very beginning) and his books.
They changed my life.
About that same time I came to realize I had virtually no say or influence in government. (My "representatives" wouldn't even return my calls or emails!) And everything seemed upside down. (Good was evil, doing right was wrong, thrift and independence were punished, debt and death were celebrated and encouraged. It was insanity!) I came to see that supra-national influences -- powers and dominions of light and darkness -- pulled the strings that moved the course of nations. A great spiritual battle was underway and I had virtually no say or control over the course of it.
I also realized that Jesus' work and kingdom operated independently of Roman rule. He didn't try to change the world by politics or government reforms. What "the world" did didn't matter to Him. He didn't concern Himself with the machinations of Caesars. "Sufficient was the day unto the evil thereof." Instead, He focused on doing His Father's will. I realized it was about as pointless for me to try to influence the course of nations as it was to stand in the surf and try to hold back the tide! Far more gifted men and women than I now stand at "podiums" with power to "preach" (via mass media outlets)...and they have utterly failed to turn the Gentiles from their course. So who am I to try with my puny voice and blog? No one cares what I have to say anyway.
So I gave up. And I began to turn my sights inward: to focus on the welfare of myself and my family. (I mean, if I'm not "saved", then what use can I be to anyone else? My obligation is to my family. Is my own house in order?)
I began reading Denver Snuffer's blog and his books, Passing the Heavenly Gift and The Second Comforter: Conversing with the Lord Through the Veil, simultaneously. The effect was remarkable. With PTHG, I began to recognize certain "objects" of my "worship" were, in fact, "golden calves" and "angels of light". I was compelled to disavow and dismiss them without further argument. With TSC, I was reminded of my former love. I remembered who Salvation is, that I had known Him, and I recognized that I had been turned away from Him for a very long time. I feared it was almost too late for me. For the first time in a very long time I seriously began to question my own spiritual state...and, surprisingly, viewed it as precarious! I saw that I had been on the "wrong" path -- "following a prophet" instead of following the Savior -- for almost 40 years! Like the people of King Benjamin, I was humbled to the dust by my knowledge that I had "missed the mark". Denver Snuffer made that woefully clear to me.
I began to repent. I began to cry unto the Lord (not just "say" my prayers) again. I began to ask "What would Jesus have me do today, right now, this instant?" and give greater importance to that than anything else. I stopped focusing on -- or caring about -- my "service" in the Church. (Oh, I still did it. It just stopped "meaning" anything to me.) So what if I were a "hundred percenter" in anything? My works meant nothing. I saw that now. Because of Snuffer's teachings, I read the Book of Mormon with new eyes.
If Denver Snuffer "opened" my heart, mind and eyes, Daymon Smith -- with his A Cultural History of the Book of Mormon series -- positively blasted them open with knowledge of things as they actually are (and were). I now see how much of my faith has been built on sand, myth and misinformation! Rock Waterman's words have also been invaluable. (Scandalous! Irreverent at times! Surely wrong in some things. But, otherwise, Right On!) What would I have done without these preachers of righteousness?
All of them have turned me to my roots and have brought me closer to Christ.
Whereas, before I was in the habit of focusing on my "worthiness" (or lack thereof) -- at how "effectively" or "consistently" I "satisfied" a lists of "dos" and "don'ts" -- now I don't care about that at all!
NOT AT ALL!
"Checking off lists" is NOT what He requires of us!
He asks us to LOVE Him! To LOVE Him with all our hearts! And to LOVE our neighbor as ourselves.
When we do that, the rest -- all of it -- takes care of itself. If we don't do that, none of the rest matters. None of it.
I will tell you a "secret". I saw the Lord in vision. He was sitting on a rock, telling a "joke". (Actually, it was one of His remarkable parables that teaches the gospel in a way that is funny, beautiful and heart-rending, all at once. He made little boys and girls laugh, aged hypocrites mad...and me cry. But that's beside the point.) Anyway, He was sitting on a rock and a little, dirty, diseased, wretched boy came up to Him on that rock and put his arms around His neck and kissed Him. I saw light come out of that Perfect Being's body and pierce that little boy with perfect love! I was consumed in that love! (Actualy, I'm crying right now, just thinking of it!)
That happened almost 35 years ago. And I remember it as perfectly today as when it happened.
I learned from that experience (even though I utterly failed to comprehend it at the time) that Jesus loves us now, the way we are, despite our filthiness, failings and flaws. He loves us completely, with an all-consuming love.
We don't have to "do" anything to be loved by Jesus!
That's one of the great "stumbling blocks" imposed on us by our biblical "metatext" -- the idea that we have to "earn" His love. It "colors" how we treat others, demanding that they be "worthy" of our love first!
He already loves us!!! (Let that be His example to us!) If we love Him, it's only because He loved us first!!!
We "show" our love by keeping His commandments. We show our love. (The "love" must already exist.) If what we do isn't motivated by love (charity) for Him or for our fellow man, then the value of what we do is lost. All is for naught. We have our reward (whatever it is).
All those home teaching visits, temple trips, scripture studies, family prayers -- everything -- will have been a useless exercise...if we don't love.
Now I see why we must cry unto Him that we may be filled with this love! (Moroni 7:48.) With it, we become free. We become no longer bound by the law, but we naturally fulfill it! It becomes "written in our hearts". (Hebrews 8:10-12.) Without it, we are bound under the curse of the law -- and spend our time laboring under the yoke of quotas, striving for "worthiness" and doing "good works" (which do not invoke or involve the power of godliness).
"Meeting" Denver Snuffer was a palpable "turning point" in my life. I am no longer a "correlated Mormon". In fact, I don't consider myself a "Mormon" at all! I still go to the LDS Church, attend the temple, do my home teaching, etc. But so what? There are no "Mormons" in the Book of Mormon, for good reason!
I am becoming (again) a disciple of Christ.