[R]evolution

Good morning, and blessed sabbath day to you.

I want to share with you a communication I received from someone I very highly respect. This man recently served faithfully as an LDS bishop, retains his membership and activity in the Church, and continues to attend with his family. For reasons he explains below, he wishes to remain anonymous (for now). He consented to let me share his words with you. My response follows.

Hi Will,

Thanks for checking in on me! I am doing well. Yes, my wife and I are still together and happily treading this life together actually. In fact, that is one of the prime directives the Lord has given me and one of the primary purposes of this life for me - to be with and make her as happy as I can. Anything that detracts from that and Zion in my family first would be prohibited, unless by strict command directly from Him, which He has not given.

For me and for us, at least for the foreseeable future, that means we are and will continue to be active members of the Church. That could change if the Church changes beyond certain boundaries, like gay marriage. But for now, and in general, we both feel like it is very doable to just be Christian, as Christ-like as we can be, growing and learning, non-idolatrous Mormon/LDS members. It’s really as good a faith community as any, with all its faults and sins. In my opinion, it’s really hard to rate or judge an entire culture, group, or institution. It’s like saying “America’s great” or “America sucks” - when it really comes down to individual Americans. I’m American and intend to be the best kind I can be. I’m a Mormon and intend to be the best kind I can be.

I’ve read a ton of DS’s stuff, including all 10 of his talks twice, and my wife and I both attended the 10th talk together. I’ll be honest - I have felt the power and fire of the Holy Ghost several times in my life - more so in the last couple of years than ever really. And I did not feel it at DS’s 10th talk, nor did my wife - I was prepared to receive it and accept it, too (she really came with a little more skepticism and for my sake, but she has such a guileless soul). Afterwards, we fasted and prayed sincerely and intently about it and his relayed invitation to be rebaptized and the Lord has not confirmed nor asked us to proceed with that. So we continue to serve and try to do his will where we are. I’ve had many spiritual experiences over the last year and a half, many with the power of the Holy Ghost, and many in vision/dream/in-the-spirit. None of them have instructed me to do anything other than what I am doing right now. The Lord has revealed many things to me in that time, but the most important thing has been to have faith directly in Him, and to love and care for my wife and family. I see a lot more clearly now, the veneer of the organization and all its imperfect actors and history has come off and all are naked as it were, warts and all. But I see no point, nor have I been called in any official way, as of yet, to decry these things. I have been prompted to speak up for the truth found in the doctrine of Christ and the Gospel and Commandments of Christ, like the Sermon on the Mount, over false traditions, but not in a way that is critical of any person or the leaders, more just our culture and bad habits. I try only to speak up if I am moved upon by the power of the Holy Ghost, period. That is the medium of communication that I am growing to trust more than any other, the power of the Holy Ghost - by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things. That’s true. It also happens to be one of the tests to which we must be found to be true and faithful to grow into greater light and truth.

I don’t know where this is going, except up. Part of me has thought, just trying to put my own answers in context with everything, that perhaps Denver is not exactly what so many perceive him to be, a prophet and apostle, etc., though he may see himself as such, but more of a test. I see too many people who have replaced TSM & hierarchy with DS and his words. They quote him as authoritatively as we used to quote the LDS Apostles. I also see much pride in the community who thus “follows” him, while denying they follow and idolize him - pride that they are so much more enlightened and awakened than those poor, dumb sheeple/LDS. That is a disturbing phenomenon, since it is so counterproductive. It’s not all or nothing but it’s there, much like in the Church.

How are you and your family? What are your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings about all these things? I guess I could read your blog to find out, but I just started a new job and it’s eating up a lot of my time so I’ve really backed off online. I hope things are well with you and yours.

Your Friend,

I responded:

I awoke this morning around 3:30 and yours was the first thing I read! Thank you for sharing with me (and taking time to compose) that beautiful email. I am confident you are on the right track.

Why didn't we feel the Holy Ghost bear record to us during Denver's 10th talk? (Certainly the other nine were inspiring!) What gives? What do we make of it?

Is a child "born" when it is conceived? or when it is delivered? Perhaps Denver is privy to the conception of things, but events are unfolding in such a way that -- for most of us -- life goes on as normal. I remember when my wife and I were expecting our first child. Ah, the peace! We even went out to dinner and a movie the night before she delivered. I think that was the last time we did so for several years! Things happen gradually...and then they happen suddenly!

I am reassured that you yet have some confidence, security and sustenance in the LDS Church. I myself never would have left it (I keep telling myself!) if they had not cast me out, unless, like you said, they did something abominable. Like you, for me, too, the sheen is worn off, that "new care smell" is gone and the petal has fallen off the rose. I see the Church now with new eyes...and a new challenge: to get the higher priesthood for myself, from God, directly, and to live His laws.

To be frank, the latter is just as difficult as the former! I am amazed at how difficult it is to do the Lord's bidding, obeying Matt. 5-7, etc.

First we struggle with the "big" things ("thou shalt not commit adultery" etc.). Then we tackle even bigger things ("give to whomever asks of thee", "withhold not thy cloak also", "go the second mile", "judge not", "love thine enemy", etc.). I can't even love my wife the way I ought, much less my enemy! How right you are about focusing on family first.

Your penultimate paragraph about Snuffer, lifting him up as another idol to replace Monson (or whomever is in charge...how "Book of Mormon"ish is that?! Always wanting to establish -- and re-establish -- a king!), the pride and scorn of the "enlightened" looking down upon the "sheeple"...it's all so true. I haven't joined any of the discussion groups (until just this morning) because I've been amazed, quite frankly, and ever so put off by all the "stuff" going on out there and being spoken of. So far afield! "Energy work", astrology, "interpreting signs" and so forth. So many "prophet wannabes".

Well, we all want (or ought to want) to be prophets: to rightfully speak on behalf of and be in the Lord's service. For some of us, that will be done in the LDS Church (as you are doing). For others, it will have to be done without (for better or for worse, as I am doing).

My wife and children still attend, though the glint and gleam of Church membership has passed for them, as well, and I doubt that my three youngest will ever be baptized LDS. (I just can't bring myself to do it...er, or rather, to allow it. Those in charge can play their games, but I cannot let them transfer their priesthood hocus pocus to my kids.)

Ah, and there's the rub. What "priesthood" does the Church legitimately have? Not much, apparently. (Including the stake patriarch? I don't know.) And the kind it does have -- which is Aaronic, I think -- permits and authorizes baptism. But, unfortunately, the Church today converts, baptizes and confirms the newest "converts" unto the Church and the Brethren, not unto the Lord. Is it possible to be Mormon and Christian? Absolutely! But that's not a given, not just by being baptized, at least. And the whole focus -- nowadays, regardless of what they say -- is "follow the prophet" and "follow us", not "follow the Lord".

I am perplexed as to what to do with my family. I may spend "eight years" in the wilderness, figuring it all out. Or maybe not. Maybe I'll never figure it out. Maybe the Lord, in the end, will bid us all to sail elsewhere.

But not for now.

Your friend, too.