Getting Back into the LDS Church

Someone asked me for advice on what to do to "to get back into church and back onto church property," they having received the same letter I received. I wrote them the following:

I'd be glad to talk to you...but I really have no "magic" solution -- or any solution, for that matter. The LDS Church has made NO EFFORT whatsoever to "reclaim" me, welcome me, or even invite me back. From their perspective, I am (like Denver Snuffer, Rock Waterman, etc.) "irredeemable" and "expendable." (I'm assuming you were excommunicated for apostasy. If not, your circumstances may be different than mine.)

My wife has no interest is prosecuting a "crusade" to compel my return to the LDS Church. She is content to let me be "out" forever, if need be, even while she stays "in" with the kids. But even they are starting to "drop out" now, almost two years after my excommunication and a full year since my "banishment." (Ironically, I'm still the most "Mormon" of the bunch in my home, even if I'm no longer a Latter-day Saint!)

I refuse to dishonor the LDS Church's explicit instructions to stay away or their intention to banish me. (The sin be upon their heads.) I make no effort to come onto their property (property which I helped pay for and build upon, through a lifetime of service and sacrifice, at least at the local level). I have never stepped foot on LDS-Church-owned property since the day I received their letter. Not to attend Church. Not to drop off my kids at seminary. Not to hear my wife and children sing in the Church's Christmas Choir performance. I'm not welcome...and they (meaning the Church) couldn't care less.

I have visited BYU (to take my kids to EFY) and I've toured City Creek Mall in Salt Lake City (cringing at the extravagance...my former tithing dollars at work!). But, in general, I've just stayed the hell away from all things LDS as much as possible. I can't even bring myself to wear BYU clothing (my alma mater) anymore! It just turns my stomach! Theirs was a betrayal of the highest order.

I ought to add: I loved the Church. I loved being LDS, attending the temple, striving to honor my covenants and keeping the commandments, etc. (It goes without saying that I wasn't perfect, but at least I tried and loved striving to be so, nonetheless.) The pharisees-in-charge today do not look upon the heart, however; they measure everything by the outward appearance (since that is the measure by which they judge themselves, apparently).

Sadly, they do not know Christ, have never met Him, have never seen Him or heard His voice. Consequently, they don't know in whom to trust or place their faith. When I confessed I didn't "know" that "Thomas S. Monson is a prophet of God" as I KNOW Jesus is real and divine, even though I was willing to call TSM a "prophet," they asked me: "Then what do you have faith in?"

My answer to their question astounded them: "I have faith in Jesus Christ!" They just couldn't wrap their minds around or acknowledge that that was "enough." They can only "follow the prophet." He is what they see and hear and know. They have faith in him. One of them who excommunicated me actually said: "Why do we even need the Holy Ghost when we have a living prophet?"

I'm not that much closer to God than they are, I confess, but at least I know God lives! I've heard His voice! He has ministered to me! And I have no illusions that a prophet is an adequate substitute for Christ's personal ministry and salvation. In fact, at no time was my experience in the LDS Church ever truly spiritual or edifying except when the Lord ministered to me personally by revelation, dreams, visions and gifts of the Spirit. His power is inimitable and irreplaceable, except to those who have never known it. They are easily beguiled by changing "policies," ministers to preach to them, and a form of godliness that denies the power thereof. The priesthood leaders with whom I am familiar spent the bulk of their time quoting the Church's Handbook of Instructions rather than the holy scriptures. They did not preach, teach, expound, exhort or baptise by the Spirit, but instead relied upon rote patterns, memorized instructions, and vain repetitions proffered as saving ordinances and exercises. One would starve to death spiritually under their tutelage and ministrations alone! They verily blessed me when they cast me out!

Still, it's hard to be on one's own, as I am. The sabbath day (for me) is particularly difficult. I do not sing the songs of Zion with my friends and family. I do not hear lessons and sermons (however vain, repetitious, vacuous or trite), nor do I socialize with other saints (even if they do not believe in the foundational teachings of the gospel that I do). Being with friends (even misguided ones) was a comfort and "tradition" I was not wont to leave behind. But I've been forced to. The Lord has not seen fit yet to reveal to me -- or perhaps I have been remiss in receiving -- exactly what I'm supposed to be doing now. My sabbath days are far less ritual-filled and "busy" than they were. (But they certainly are far more relaxing now!)

I don't pay tithing as I used to to the LDS Church. (I always paid a full tithe.) At first we devoted those same resources to the poor. But then we became poor ourselves (for a time) and diverted our tithes to just keeping ourselves afloat! (It is time now to reconsider our circumstances and to make an end-of-year "settlement" with the Lord, giving one-tenth of all that we have in excess, beyond our own needs.) The LDS Church, on the other hand, does not follow the scriptural mandate. Their "version" of tithing insures that most members remain perpetually poor...if they pay a full tithe at all, leaving little, if anything else, to savings. This was not the Lord's intent, I believe. The LDS Church, for its part, certainly doesn't practice its own policy anyway. At least the highest leaders of the church DO NOT (from what I understand). They do NOT pay tithing, but spend Church funds as they see fit, even as if those funds were their own money. (I don't see the Church paying for my kids to go to Harvard, Yale, Princeton and the like, as their children do on the Lord's dime! But I digress....)

As I said, I have no magic solution for you. I take the sacrament on my own. I broke and blessed the bread and blessed the wine (grape juice) this afternoon while my family was at church. Angels did not come down. (They never have, as far as I know.) But I did feel the Spirit. (And not the alcoholic kind either! I don't like the taste of alcohol...not that I've never tried it...I did finally, once they "banished" me...but I prefer non-alcoholic drinks.) 

One amazing "benefit" to being cast out is that you no longer have to follow their regimen, all the rigamarole, religion, and "commandments of men" they offer masquerading as the commandments of God. If God didn't say it to you by the voice of His Spirit (even via His servants), than you may blithely ignore it! (And those in charge are NOT His servants...at least not any that I recognize. I thought they were...right up until they denied that Jesus was their personal Savior.)

"Say what?!" you ask? 

Yes, every one of them consented -- by his silence and the raising of his right hand -- to the statement made by one of them at my excommunication hearing that believing "Jesus is our personal Savior" is "false doctrine"!

They think they are our saviors...that their ordinances and "powers" and "authority" and "keys" bind and seal up others, even themselves, to salvation, while others they have power to relegate to hell. They have NEVER met or known Christ personally. (If they had, they NEVER would have assented to such a foolish idea!) And yet they THINK they have eternal life. They may, in fact, meet Christ someday. And, when they do, I HOPE they are not woefully disappointed. But I fear they trust too much in the arm of flesh. I KNOW they do.

One of them told me he never had a personal revelation, "spiritual" experience, visitation with an angel, etc. Neither had his dad, a "two-timing" bishop! "If it was good enough for him, it's good enough for me!" he boasted. For him, the "trappings" of religion and religious rhetoric suffice. The hope of eternal life in the world to come is "good enough," even if he never KNOWS its promise here in the flesh, even if he never meets his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ himself.

I told him that wasn't good enough for me. Joseph Smith knew God and Jesus. Abraham, Isaac and Jacob saw and knew the Lord. ALL of the prophets testified of Christ. Which of those men today standing at the head of the LDS Church know Him face to face, as one man speaks with another, as Mahonri and Moroni testified THEY knew Him? As Nephi and Jacob did?

The Mormon "religion" today is a FAR CRY from the promise offered at its foundation. I wish to return to its roots.

I want to see and hear and know for myself. I know it's possible. I've experienced some of this for myself already. But I want more. And not just lip service.

Call me at your convenience.

--Will Carter

P.S.: To more specifically answer your question, I've never overtly endeavored to "get back into" the LDS Church. I would not do it merely for my family, for "religious" or "cultural" or "traditional" reasons. The leaders of the LDS Church forfeited whatever claim they had to priesthood authority when they abused theirs, by unrighteous dominion. In my view, the kingdom of God is no longer with them. (Where it is, exactly now, I don't know. But it's not with them, I KNOW that much.)

They told me that to get back into the LDS Church (not to be rebaptized, mind you, but just to attend services!) I would need to seek professional counselling, take whatever medications I am prescribed (what a joke!) and gain "clearance" from the very same man whose ministrations forced my ouster in the first place! 

Going back (for me) would be akin to John the Baptist asking Caiaphas to perform the ordinance of baptism on his behalf! Fat chance. I no longer recognize or accept LDS authority even though I acknowledge that the LDS Church had a positive influence on my upbringing. Consequently I still encourage my wife and children to attend LDS services and seminary (but without me, sadly). I even drop my daughter off each morning for seminary and sometimes shuttle my kids to church. (I stop at the curb.)

There WILL come a day when being LDS will be detrimental, not beneficial, to coming unto Christ. That day may already be upon us (for some). It wasn't for me, but the Church hierarchy forced my hand. I wish you the best in your pursuit of serving and seeking after Christ. May your efforts be rewarded.