Saturday, June 27, 2015

My thoughts on gay marriage

I have written on this subject before. In fact, it was my very first post on this blog.

Regulating marriage is nowhere listed among the enumerated powers granted to the federal government by the states or the people under the U.S. Constitution. Thus in the matter of "gay marriage" the Supreme Court acted lawlessly. By unilaterally decreeing it is now "unconstitutional" to deny marriage to same-sex couples, the Supreme Court "imposed" upon this citizenry a morality and practice that few Americans were willing to embrace or accept just a few years ago. This result was not achieved democratically, but by judicial fiat and, at its inception, was imposed against the will of a majority of the people by a few judges. (Notably, one homosexual judge threw out the election results banning gay marriage in California because, quite simply, he didn't like the outcome.)

We don't have a representative republic in America anymore, unless you conclude that the republic represents what our "leaders" want it to be for themselves. "The people" have little or no say anymore about anything of substance or import. Someone quipped: "If elections mattered, they would have outlawed them." Is that far from the truth?

I don't know if "gay marriage" is "right" or "wrong". I have struggled enough with sins, proclivities, inclinations and temptations in my own life to conclude that I would have found it IMPOSSIBLE to remain perfectly celibate and absolutely chaste throughout an entire life without marriage. To tell someone (who is as powerfully attracted to the same sex as I am to the opposite sex) "Don't touch. Don't tell." is to condemn them to a psychological and physical horror I would not wish to impose upon anyone.

I am convinced that sexual orientation has biological, environmental, and spiritual components and underpinnings -- just as do most (if not all) facets of human nature. God can and does work miracles, but sometimes the thorn in our flesh is not removed until it has finished its perfect work in us.

Which is the greater sin? To engage in sexual relations outside of marriage (or in "marriage") with someone of the same sex?

Or to not love your neighbor as yourself?

I believe that homosexuality is a psychosexual disorder that affects 1-2% of the human population. (How could it be otherwise? Homosexuality is biologically counter productive.) If a man, looking upon a woman to lust after her, commits adultery in his heart -- and adultery is sin, forbidden by God -- then surely a man who looks upon another man, lusting, likewise, commits sin. We must all learn to control and dominate our sexual urges, homosexual and otherwise.

But what outlet is afforded the homosexual in this life? What promise or hope of connubial bliss may he or she righteously entertain? Pray for a change of mind and heart and sexual orientation? (I certainly wouldn't discourage that.)

Meanwhile, Jesus spoke the truth when He said: "But I say unto you, That it shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom in the day of judgment, than for thee." (Matt. 11:24.) If we "cast out" our gay friends from among us -- and judge them -- for wanting nothing more or less than what we would have (or give and do) ourselves, we are hypocrites, guilty of greater sin.

It was a mind-shattering concept for many whites to accept that blacks are "equal" and ought not to be discriminated against. The LGBT lobby equates its activity with the modern Civil Rights movement. However, sexual proclivity and behavior are not to be equated with skin color. We can control our actions; we cannot change the color of our skin. Likewise, same-sex marriage cannot be equated with heterosexual union because it is intrinsically different. A car painted a different color is still a car, but a cat, even if called a "dog", can never be a dog.

While there are heterosexual relationships that, in many respects, are not as "good" as the best of homosexual unions, no homosexual union can "equate" in form or function with "normal" heterosexual congress. They are fundamentally different. And always will be.

That said, we recognize that "weirdness" exists in nature and humanity. Some people are hermaphroditic. Their gender is questionable. I know of a man (whose DNA is biologically male) who was born with "female" genitalia and raised as such throughout "her" life ... until she married another man -- and discovered (when they couldn't conceive) that she is, in fact, male!

Is "she" sinful? Wrong?

If biology plays "tricks" on us physically, why not psychologically, sexually, or emotionally?

We all have crosses to bear. Just as it shatters the minds (and religions!) of many to embrace blacks as "equals" (and maybe even "superiors"!), it must shatter the minds and hearts of some today to "accept" that homosexuals -- for now -- may find themselves preternaturally inured to the same sex. I imagine most homosexuals, like most of us, want nothing more than to have a lasting, loving, intimate relationship with another, even sexual companionship and fulfillment. I have nothing but sympathy for them. I want them to be happy.

There are lessons to be learned by living in this world -- lessons "taught" to us by our circumstances and conditions: race, sex, opportunities, handicaps. (I have known people who have struggled with poverty and riches. To each his own lessons!) We must not condemn others (even as we acknowledge their conditions and circumstances) because we might not do as well as they have done were we to be placed in their shoes.

God is love. Let us give to others as we would give to ourselves. It is all we can do.

And all that is expected of us.


That being said, I do not "condone" homosexual conduct or behavior (or heterosexual behavior outside of marriage) any more than I "condone" (or "condemn") epilepsy. I merely "accept" and "tolerate" it. It is what it is. We must all demonstrate tolerance, patience and love as we strive for perfection in all things and seek to pattern our lives after the manner of our Eternal Progenitors.


  1. Well said Will. Very well said.

  2. God’s wrath comes when the people of this land break the covenant given to Lehi by choosing iniquity over righteousness.

    For the record, I think the government should never have been in the marriage business, and should always instead have been worrying about shared taxes, health decision making, etc, and thus gay marriages always would’ve be allowed by those who wanted it. But that’s beside the point, let’s get to my point:

    Iniquity comes from the hebrew word avon which is equated with sin or lawlessness.

    I’m going to go with that second definition here.

    The famous US supreme court gay marriage decision, as we all know, won by a five to four count. But has anyone who is happy with the outcome stopped to consider why the four dissented? I’m sure most have assumed the four are anti-gay, or religious or whatever.

    If you think that, you are wrong.

    I highly recommend reading the dissenting reasoning. It has *nothing* to do with whether gay marriage is good or bad for society. They dissented because — rightly so — they believe nine unelected lawyers do not have a right to make social decisions. They believe — rightly so — that making these kinds of decisions upends democracy straight-up.

    We have taken a historic leap toward lawlessness. This is exactly how lawless societies function. You see, when Saddam Hussein was the leader of Iraq, his people liked him to be there. He forced his ideas, policies, etc. on others. The other groups hated him there and were concerned with getting him out of power, not for democracy’s sake (lol, no way), but so their own leaders could force their opinions beliefs and policies to be the accepted ones.

    Saddam’s Iraq, and many others operating the same way through history, are a great lesson what a nation looks like when ripe with lawlessness.

    The only thing we’re missing is something I believe will happen much sooner than later: make it an enforceable heresy to believe differently than what this winning group believes. Once that happens, I think we’ll have all groups clamoring for power to force different heresies, different opinions. It’s always dandelions and sunshine in these circumstances when the group you agree with is in power.

    This experience has highlighted the sad, possible irreparable state this country is in. God help us learn to appreciate the need for opposing views.

    It’s true a kingship or it’s elite-run equivalent can do great things when it’s run according to the golden rule. However, when it isn’t, then it has the power to destroy, corrupt and drag many to hell.

    1. Ben, powerfully written! Beautifully reiterated! Well considered! I welcome you to comment here anytime you like!

  3. It was very interesting to read your thoughts on this issue. You sound conflicted. And I feel like that is how I am. My major source of conflict is with where my place is. I think most people are not concerned with right and wrong anymore but rather where there place is in this argument. How involved do we get?

    Cindy Harvey @ The Dignity Forum

  4. Am I conflicted? I'm conflicted about a lot of things! Seeing things as they really are in this world means getting used to A LOT of disappointment!

    Hopefully we are all traveling toward an "ideal" -- and for those of us who aren't -- we have to learn to be patient, for ALL of us have been in THAT state before, as well. ("Stomping" on "sleeping" "children" is NOT a good practice, generally.)

    I know enough of homosexuality to know it is not entirely a choice. (How we get there, in all its facets, I do not know.) I know I have the "choice" to act on my impulses, but I may not have the "choice" to feel them. That's a burden we all bear.

    Sometimes that burden is unbearable.

    In sexual matters, I've learned (by experience) God is gracious in affording us deliverance from our trials. "Deliverance" may mean we have to remove ourselves from temptation. It means we may have to wait until "this too shall pass." It may mean we must learn to suffer...and "endure to the end."

    Homosexuality isn't the "right" way -- any more than any congenital abnormality is "right." There is a way that seems right to man and a way that is right to God. Our efforts are, and should be, to make ourselves right to God. Some crosses are HORRIBLY difficult -- even impossible -- for us to bear alone. He gives us "weakness" that we may be humble and turn to Him.

    A little humility doesn't hurt. Some of the nicest, most virtuous people I know are gay. Maybe they are that way because they've been crushed by the weight they bear.