Mormon Priesthood

There was a time when I was "enthralled" with Mormonism and the "priesthood."

I remember first meeting Bishop Livingston (my first bishop in Menlo Park, California) for my baptismal interview, when I joined the Mormon Church at age 15. He positively radiated love and friendship! He was spiritual, insightful, caring, inspiring! He grounded everything he taught in the scriptures. I so enjoyed visiting with him in his office -- even to confess my sins. (How embarrassing!) But he was so gentle and kind, so loving and forgiving and helpful. I couldn't have had more respect for that man! My respect for him was confirmed when he was later made the next stake president.

When I moved hundreds of miles away from his ward just months after we met, he helped get me a job and checked in on me from time to time to see how I was doing. We remained friends for years thereafter. When he came to the desert (where I live now) on vacation with his wife and I saw them at church, I felt as if God the Father and God the Mother were blessing me with their presence! I felt so loved! I knew he loved me and genuinely cared about me. He had showed it!

That man epitomized the qualifications of a priesthood holder as outlined in Section 121 of the Doctrine and Covenants. I love Brother Livingston!

Fast-forward almost 40 years. A series of men pass through my mind, servants in the office of "bishop." Some served like Bishop Livingston. Others ruled with an iron hand.

I remember one bishop at BYU who, while conducting tithing settlement, took my temple recommend away from me, calling me "unfaithful" because I confessed I was "in arrears" paying tithing by just a few days.

I always paid my tithing. I never missed a payment. But I chose this time to pay my rent...or tuition (or something else very important) first...because there was a deadline...and I was a little "short"...and I planned to "make it up" with my next paycheck.

"I have it all planned out," I explained to him.

But he was unpersuaded. "As of today, you are not a full-tithe payer," he said, marking me down as deficient and taking away my recommend. I was mortified and humiliated! 

He exercised the letter of the law.

That man did not hold the higher priesthood of God. He ministered in darkness.

I knew several men throughout my tenure as a Mormon who held the higher priesthood and several who did not. All were ordained. All were called. But few were chosen.

One recent bishop stands out. He bore witness of Christ while standing at the pulpit. He spoke of Christ's love and mercy, etc., and went on and on about how much he appreciated Christ and His atonement, even shedding tears while bearing testimony of Him!

But when I met with him in his office, his mannerisms were almost invariably perfunctory, condescending and "flat." He did not so much as read the scriptures with me but bludgeon me with them. He did not counsel me so much as dictate to me. He referenced the Church's Handbook of Instructions far more than he did our holy books. Whereas most priesthood holders I knew would offer to join with me in prayer, sometimes even getting down on their knees with me, this man usually did not. Most visits with him included no reference to God whatsoever. He was "strictly business."

I remember one visit with him in particular. (He always asked me to come to his office; he never came to my home.) He plied me with questions about my personal life, asking me if I had ever committed this sin or had ever done that crime. "Because if you have," he told me, "I will turn you over to law enforcement for prosecution."

Charity never covered a multitude of sins in that man's office. He made sure of it!

If he holds the priesthood of God, I would rather go to hell.